Finding More Joy
As a clinical psychologist, I have a lot of curiosity around optimising our mental health. I have been reading a lot about joy lately. Many different disciplines seem to have different names for what we call ‘joy’. Science often uses the terms ‘flow state’ or ‘creativity’. Mythology uses the terms ‘intuition’ or ‘home’. Psychology uses ‘joy’ ‘play’ or ‘hope’.
All of these concepts seem to relate to the same concept. A state of wonder and curiosity, where you lose track of time and fall back in love with the romance of life itself. This joy is very different to feeling amused by something (e.g. spending a couple of hours doing something that’s pleasurable but that doesn’t have this same lasting restorative benefit).
Here are some strategies to bring more joy to your life:
1) Think of a memory where you felt joy. Close your eyes, and really lean into the feeling in your body that comes up. Some people feel lighter in their stomach, some people feel less tension in their jaw. Think of what colour is associated with this feeling. Create art, or print some images out with this colour to remind you of this feeling.
2) Think of what you found more joyful and playful when you were younger. Did you love running around the neighbourhood with other children? Doing crafts? Reading? Adventures? Now I want you to close your eyes and imagine doing that activity. I also want you to imagine ‘little you’ is by your side. Imagine they are soooo excited to be with you doing this activity. Imagine what their little face looks like, and how they move their body (e.g. jiggling around with excitement). Now let them lead the play. For instance, if you’re picking flowers, how would a child pick flowers compared to an adult? There is often more freedom, spontaneity and play.
4) Look at what you value. Look at what dulls your sparkle and what lights you up. Keep track of this for several weeks.
5) Keep lists… lists of people complimenting you, lists of things going better than you thought, lists of things that you are grateful didn’t go your way in the past because of what they taught you.
6) When faced with two choices, set positive intentions for both and see how it sits with you. For instance, let’s pretend you’re deciding whether to work or rest more. The intention for working more could be: ‘Work is important to me, and something that brings me income and supports my family. Right now, work is the priority and so I will focus on that’. The intention for rest could be ‘I am determined to live a life where I rest, and make rest a priority. This will make my success sustainable’. Then see how both sits with you. Which are you more drawn to?
8) Notice how people treat you differently on the days you are more joyful. Are you more chatty? Open? Smile more? Do people respond differently to you?
You can also read more on my tips for Happiness by clicking here. If you would like to book an appointment with a psychologist based in Sydney you can clear here
Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash
