Loneliness and Social Connection

As a psychologist, I've been observing a particular pattern in the loneliness that many people are experiencing today. What strikes me most is that this loneliness often isn't about the quantity of friendships or even their depth….many of my clients feel genuinely connected to their friends. Instead, the issue lies in something more subtle.


The loneliness I'm seeing stems from a specific gap. The absence of a few people who are in daily or weekly contact and truly across what's happening in your life. These are the people who know about the small things….that you went to a doctor's appointment yesterday, that you stubbed your toe last week, or how your morning meeting went.

Without these "daily witnesses," many people find themselves in a cycle of catch-up conversations where they're constantly filling each other in on their lives rather than actually living their lives together. This pattern, whilst maintaining connection, can paradoxically create a profound sense of loneliness.


The encouraging news is that you don't need many of these people.

These relationships are characterised by:
- Regular contact (daily or weekly)
- Awareness of routine events and experiences
- Shared ongoing life experiences rather than periodic updates
- A sense of "living life together" rather than simply reporting on it

This isn't about having someone to call in a crisis or friends to socialise with on weekends, although these relationships are valuable. It's about having people who are woven into the fabric of your everyday life.

Consider reaching out more regularly to someone you care about, not just for major updates, but to share the small moments. You might find that in becoming a daily witness to someone else's life, you create space for them to witness yours in return.

Rebecca Anderson for Navigate Psychology

Photo by Geoffroy Hauwen on Unsplash