Understanding People-Pleasing Recovery: The Over Correction Phase

Recovery from people-pleasing behaviours often involves a predictable yet challenging phase known as over-correction. This phenomenon represents a natural swing from one extreme to another as individuals learn to establish healthy boundaries after years of prioritising others' needs above their own.

What Over-Correction Looks Like

During this phase, recovering people-pleasers may begin cutting off relationships abruptly without proper communication. The prospect of discussing boundaries remains terrifying, leading to avoidance rather than direct conversation. Some individuals find themselves privately criticising those who make requests of them, labelling them as entitled behind their backs.

The Communication Challenge

At this stage of recovery, boundary setting communication still feels overwhelming. Rather than engaging in difficult conversations, many choose the seemingly easier path of withdrawal. This approach, while understandable, often creates additional complications in relationships that could potentially be salvaged through honest dialogue.

A Balanced Perspective on Boundaries

Whilst cutting off some relationships can be entirely appropriate and necessary for mental health, providing fair warning and explanation demonstrates respect for both parties involved, if safe to do so. Many people have unknowingly taken advantage of people-pleasers simply because their behaviour was consistently enabled through constant agreement and accommodation.

The Path to Healthy Boundaries

True healing involves recognising that others have the right to make requests, just as you have the right to decline them. The resentment and frustration that characterise people-pleasing often stem from feeling unable to say no without experiencing guilt or fearing negative reactions from others.

Moving Forward

Understanding over-correction as a normal part of recovery can help individuals navigate this phase with greater self-compassion. The goal is not to swing permanently to the opposite extreme, but to find a balanced middle ground where boundaries are clear, communication is direct, and relationships are built on mutual respect rather than one sided accommodation.

Rebecca Anderson is a clinical psychologist based in Sydney Australia for Navigate Psychology

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