Finding Your Tribe

That uncomfortable, out of place feeling you sometimes experience isn't necessarily a reflection of personal inadequacy, it's often a signal that you're simply in the wrong environment or surrounded by people who aren't aligned with where you are in life right now.

This social misalignment is more common than we realise. We all evolve at different paces, develop varying interests, and shift our values over time. What once felt comfortable may no longer suit who we're becoming. The key insight here is recognising that feeling awkward or disconnected doesn't automatically mean something is fundamentally wrong with you.

The Narrative Trap

The real challenge lies in how we interpret these uncomfortable feelings. It's natural to feel upset, frustrated, or even distressed when social situations don't flow smoothly. These emotions are completely valid and deserve acknowledgement. However, the mistake many of us make is constructing a story around these feelings that centres on personal deficiency.

Instead of thinking "I don't fit in here because I'm broken" or "There's something wrong with me " it’s more helpful (and often true) to think "This environment doesn't match my current needs" or "These aren't my people now." This shift in perspective moves you from a position of self criticism to one of judging the environment.

Recognising When Change is Needed

Sometimes the solution isn't changing yourself to fit the situation, but rather changing the situation itself. This might mean:

- Seeking out different social circles that better align with your current interests and values
- Being selective about which social situations you invest your energy in
- Trusting your instincts when something doesn't feel right

Moving Forward

Remember that feeling broken around certain people is often signals that you've outgrown certain spaces or relationships. Rather than forcing yourself to fit where you no longer belong, consider this discomfort as valuable information guiding you towards more authentic connections.

Rebecca Anderson is a Clinical Psychologist based in Sydney, Australia for Navigate Psychology

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash