Improving your relationship with your body
How do you feel about your body? Do you tear parts of your body apart? If you do, you’re in good company. Around 80% of women report they are unhappy with their bodies.
It’s okay to not love 100% of your body. However, there is a difference between acknowledging you’re not a massive fan of everything about your appearance and attacking your body with self-hatred.
Notice how you talk about the parts of your body you don’t like. What parts are you most critical of? Do you use words like ‘fat, gross, disgusting’? What tone of voice does your inner critic take on?
These words and tone can make us feel incredibly low and ashamed of ourselves.
But you are worthy of love and acceptance right now, no if’s or buts or maybes.
Below are a few steps to begin to start to change your relationship with your body:
Changing Self-Talk
We can’t control what thoughts pop into our head, but we can alter how we think so we are less upset by our thoughts. One way to do this is to become more neutral when describing your body.
If you’re not sure how to do this, think about how you might describe your body concerns to a large group of people. Rather than saying ‘’I hate my wobbly thunder thighs, they are so fat and disgusting’ you might say ‘I don’t love how big my thighs are’.
Think what you may say to a friend and try to be compassionate towards yourself: ‘It’s common to be a bit worried about our thighs, but calling them ‘thunder thighs’ makes me feel really upset. Most people don’t like their thighs and people are worrying about their own thighs, not mine’.
You may also acknowledge something you do like about your legs ‘I like that that there is no spider veins on my legs and that the hair is quite light’.
Changing how we speak to ourselves can take a lot of practice. Think of any new skill….guitar, playing tennis, learning to paint. Any new skill takes practice. It’s no different when changing self-talk. At first it can feel a bit unnatural, but it’s important to persist and practice whenever self-criticism comes up.
Create Two Lists
Create a list of all the things that shape your identity. It could be your appearance, family, friends, animals, work, hobbies, personality traits, background, religion… Then rank those things into three categories according to importance (most important, important, not as important).
Create a second list of all the amazing things your body does for you or lets you do… be independent, travel, run, see, laugh, breath, dance….Add to both these lists as often as you can.
You are so much more than your body. Your appearance is one aspect of who you are. How much priority would you like to be giving to your appearance in defining your self worth and identity?
Surround Yourself with People and Things Who Make You Feel Good
Who are the people you love to spend time with? Who do you laugh with and feel good around? Who do you feel drained around? Who do you feel on edge around?
Spend more time with people you feel great around.
Likewise, be careful what you consume on social media. Experiment for a week with unfollowing or muting all accounts that make you start to feel ‘less than’. Research shows Instagram and Snapchat are the worst social media platforms for mental health. Take control of what you are consuming. You don’t have to follow people who make you feel horrendous.