Criticism

Nobody talks about the biggest shift you need to make if you talk negatively to yourself. That is to realise that your negative inner voice is often the internalised voice of caregivers. Often you may have needed to believe the negative things they said about you to maintain the connection with them. When you’re 6 years old you can’t just rent out a flat down the road and leave. It’s safer for you to think you are the problem to stay safe.

What you need to do to really change self criticism as an adult is to start getting angry. Start getting angry and the people who told you weren’t good enough, when really you were just an innocent and little and making mistakes that were very normal to make. Shame is just internalised anger. You need to take that anger and project it back outwards where it often belongs.

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash