Self-fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when our expectation lead us to act and behave in a way that confirms those expectations. Understanding the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy can be life changing.  Let’s go through some examples so you can see just how powerful our beliefs can be in shaping our reality:

Self-fulfilling prophecy can be negative or positive:

Negative:

You believe you suck at maths. You don’t pay attention in class, don’t bother asking question and give up studying for the final test. You fail the class. You confirm your belief you’re bad at maths.

Positive:

You believe you’ll get your dream job eventually. You seek out advice on fixing your resume, do multiple internships to gain experience, get new clothes for your interview, are positive and warm to recruiters, prepare well for your job interviews and learn from previous job rejections. You get the job, confirming your belief that you were always going to get your dream job.

Self-fulfilling prophecy can be directed towards others or ourselves.

Others:

Let’s say you’re a teacher and you believe your student, Mary, has a lot of potential. You spend more time with Mary helping her study and praising her. This results in a better performance from Mary. This confirms the teacher’s view that Mary has a lot of potential.

Ourselves:

Let’s say you’re going to a party and you believe that you’ll be awkward and no-one will talk to you. When you get to the party your friend introduces you to a new person. You don’t know what to say so you make excuses to go to the bathroom or get a drink. You avoid small talk and eye contact for the rest of the party and stand by the food table. People are less likely to engage with you. This confirms your belief that you’re not good with new people.

Start to notice the beliefs you have about yourself, people and the world around you. More than likely you’re acting in ways that confirm those expectations, and thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.