Dating on the Apps in 2025 - A Clinical Psychologist’s Perspective

As a clinical psychologist, I’ve seen firsthand how online dating has transformed the way people connect. Dating apps can be an amazing tool and can connect you with people you never would have normally met. However, they come with emotional challenges that are often overlooked. Here are a few tips to help you stay grounded and emotionally safe:

1. Low Accountability

One of the first things I remind people is that MOST online spaces are often low accountability environments. This isn’t just about dating apps….it applies to job applications, Facebook Marketplace, and any digital interaction where people feel detached from real world consequences. It can feel deeply personal, but often it’s just a byproduct of the environment. It doesn’t reflect your worth or anything you did wrong. Understanding this doesn’t make rejection feel great, but it can help you not spiral.

2. Containment Helps You Stay Grounded

Online dating is designed to pull you in. That’s why containment and being intentional about when and how long you’re on the apps, is important.

3. Videos Can Help

If you’re comfortable, short videos can help convey your personality in ways a static photo or bio can’t. It makes you seem more human and real, and can build a stronger impression.

4. Doubts - Listen but Don’t Run

It’s okay to notice things that don’t feel right (e.g. they seem inconsistent, they made a strange comment) and to note that, and continue to gather more data with them. Keep it in the back of your mind, but give the person a chance to show up (unless you feel unsafe or very sure that you’re not interested). You’re not committing to anything by going on one date. People run into trouble where they gaslight themselves when they notice something they don’t like (e.g. it was probably nothing) or go to hard on the other person (e.g. that’s it, no time wasters!).

5. Use Dating to Learn About What Make a Date Good for You

Do you prefer someone who sparks something immediately with banter on the apps, or does your attraction grow slowly? How do texting dynamics translate into real life for you on dates? The more you understand what works for you, the easier it becomes to spot potential matches.

6. Check in With Yourself

Sometimes you might want to do face-time dates, sometimes a local walk, other times drinks or a fancy dinner for a first date. This will change depending on your needs and that’s okay. Just check in with yourself and be true to where you’re at with dating.

7. You Don’t Have to Tell Friends

If you’re tired of dating chat, you can tell your friends ‘thanks for asking, but I don’t really feel like chatting about dating’.