How do I get motivated and stay motivated?

If you define motivation as a feeling (‘feeling motivated’) then you will be disappointed when you find that feeling is fleeting.

I instead define motivation as knowing your ‘why’. Most people don’t enjoy studying for years on end, or every exercise sessions, or visiting the dentist for a procedure. Yet we do this, because our ‘why’ is strong. You may know your health is important or want a stable career.

The feeling of motivation may give you an initial drive, but what will sustain you is knowing why you are doing what you’re doing. When you have your ‘why’ you can bare almost any  hardship. But we also need self-discipline. Without self-discipline and consistent behaviour, our long term goals cannot be achieved.

As Jonice Webb says in her famous book ‘Running on Empty’:

Remember: Self-discipline is made up of two parts: making yourself do things you don’t want to do, and stopping yourself from doing things that you want to do.

If you have experienced permissive parents (not enough discipline) or overly-strict parents, you may have issues with self-discipline. You may not know how to work hard, or how to stop working hard. Ideally we have parents who teach us to balance working hard with rest, and we internalize this as adults.

Self discipline can be taught. If you’d like to learn, you try this exercise: Each day you should pick three thing you don’t want to do (e.g. flossing your teeth). Then you should pick three thing you want to do but feel you shouldn’t (e.g. drinking alcohol on Tuesday night). Keep a record of this, and watch your self-discipline skills increase.

Photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash