Struggling to Manage Your Emotions?
As a clinical psychologist, this is one of the most common issues clients present with! So if you struggle, too, you’re in good company. When we are under stress, we are more likely to be overwhelmed by our emotions. We have less capacity to problem-solve and consider the consequences of our actions.
Here are four tried-and-true strategies to regulate emotions:
How do I regulate my emotions?
Understanding Your Emotions
When it comes to our emotions, understanding them is the first step toward managing them. Emotions, in concrete terms, are signals. They communicate to us and others what we need. If you don’t know what you feel, you won’t know what you need. You can also feel two emotions at once (e.g. relief that you’re leaving a job, sadness at leaving your colleagues).
If you Google ‘emotion wheel’, you’ll find many examples of wheels you can use to build up your knowledge of your emotions.
For instance:
Anger = a perceived injustice
Contentment = this situation is good
Guilt = I’ve done something wrong
Where people run into trouble is confusing emotions with actions. For instance, anger isn’t a problem, but aggression (e.g. breaking a plate) may be.
2. Slowing Down Your Reaction
Sometimes we all react to our emotions rather than respond. When we do, it’s important to slow down and reflect on what happened. The formula below can help you to see what triggers and thoughts result in your feelings and behaviours:
Vulnerability factors (Did you sleep? Had you eaten?) → Trigger (What happened? Did you get a memory pop-up? Did something external happen?) → What did you think? → What did you feel? → What urges did you have? → What did you actually do? → What was the consequence of those actions?
3.Think of Your Body Like a House
The foundations need to be solid before you begin building the ability to regulate.
Your body has needs, and if those needs are not met, you will be more likely to be emotionally dysregulated. These include all the basics you’ve heard before!
Food is like medicine. You should be eating around three meals a day and two to three snacks. Sleep is very important. Getting less than five hours or more than nine is associated with health issues. Movement has been shown time and time again to be associated with positive mental health.
When our mental health is struggling, it’s really hard to keep on top of these. A psychologist can help troubleshoot your specific issues in these areas.
4. Downregulating or Upregulating
A lot of people have heard of downregulation techniques to calm down. These include things like progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, slow breathing, and massage.
Upregulation can also be helpful if you often feel numb or zoned out. These include things like dancing, humming, doing yoga, or punching a pillow. Sometimes, if we are already zoned out, we need to get more present by activating our bodies.
Navigating our emotions can be difficult and daunting. If you would like support from a clinical psychologist based in Sydney CBD, Australia, you can reach out for support [here].
Rebecca Anderson is a Sydney-based clinical psychologist. She works with adults to help overcome challenges in their work, life, and relationships using evidence-based therapies.
Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash