Three Microsteps to Start Loosening Perfectionism’s Grip
Perfectionism often disguises itself as ambition or high standards, but over time it can quietly drain your energy. Many people try to “fix” perfectionism with big overhauls like digital detoxes, time off, strict boundaries, but the truth is, real change often begins with small, daily shifts.
One simple but powerful place to start is by slowing down how you move through your day. You don’t need to carve out hours to rest or force yourself to sit still if that doesn’t feel realistic. Instead, walk a bit slower. Take a bit longer to go grab coffee. These small moments of slowing down add up, and they send a message to your nervous system that it’s okay not to rush.
Another important shift is learning to let go of all-or-nothing thinking. Perfectionism often whispers that if something can’t be done perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. But that mindset is exhausting and unnecessary. Try giving yourself permission to do certain things at 80%. Especially the ones that don’t really matter that much. Maybe dinner doesn’t have to be a homemade, fully balanced meal … a store bought salad or marinated meat is more than enough. Let the house be a little messy. Send the email without re-reading it three times.
Something else to experiment with is to stop tracking for a week. No counting steps, calories, hours on social media, minutes slept, or meals . Just let yourself be for a bit. What comes up when you're not monitoring everything?
Finally, watch for the moments when the urge to do more suddenly spikes. Often, this isn’t random, it’s a response to something deeper. Maybe you’re feeling not good enough, or lonely, or a little vulnerable. Instead of automatically diving into another task ask yourself what just happened. Talk to a loved one and use the benefit of co-regulation. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is reach for connection, not another checkbox.
These microsteps may seem small, but can provide a good place to start to shift perfectionism in a small, sustainable way.