What It Really Takes to Feel Rested As a Perfectionist

For perfectionists, rest doesn't always come naturally. You might be reading this thinking ‘I want to learn to be the most balanced, perfectly rested person’ (haha, perfectionism can also come out in how you rest). You may not even realise how much rest is missing until your body or mind starts waving red flags… irritability, constant stress and headaches. And it doesn’t just affect you. You probably notice the people closest to you, your partner, friends, coworkers, often feel the ripple effects, too.

When we don’t intentionally learn how to rest, we often fall into patterns that feel like escape but aren’t truly restorative. Maybe it’s drinking more than we mean to, or seeking out relationships with people who seem freer, more spontaneous…. people who can “switch off” in a way that feels foreign or even enviable. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this contrast in relationships. In fact, it can bring balance, the yin to your yang. But it’s worth noticing what’s going on underneath.

There’s also this modern myth that resting means sitting on a couch for hours, doing nothing. And honestly …. who’s really doing that? Rest doesn’t have to mean being completely still or “off.” For many of us, that kind of inactivity actually feels uncomfortable, even anxiety-provoking.

So, what does rest look like for someone with a perfectionist mind?

It might be:

• Getting consistent, quality sleep

• Building moments of slowness into your day, not just waiting for the weekend or a vacation (e.g. taking 25 minutes to go get a coffee, not rushing out and back in 15 minutes)

• Engaging in creative projects or daydreaming that make you feel joy

• Spending time with loved ones, without a purpose….laughing whilst watching a show together

You don’t need to carve out hours of unstructured time every day. Instead, try moving through your day more gently. Leave a few minutes of space between meetings. Rest doesn’t have to be overwhelming, it can be a gradual skill you learn.

Photo by Polina Kuzovkova on Unsplash